Waiting……..

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Waiting………From August 2012 until September 2013, I was pregnant twice. Three months with the twins, and then eight months with Aj. I spent 11 months patiently waiting to welcome home a healthy baby. 11 months of planning, purchasing, and setting up……waiting in vain.

Even after AJ’s death, the waiting continues except it is even harder, almost unbearable. When you’re pregnant, you know the end point, so you wait excitedly. But after loss, what are you supposed to be waiting for exactly?? I’m unsure of where to set my expectations. I know, I have to trust God and have faith, but what am I supposed to hope for?? My waiting now has become mixed with fear. Anything that I may hope for might not be apart of the plan God has for me. Not having an expectation, or just having hope for a better future with no specifics, seems easier at this point.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12

Pray. Pray. Then Pray some more. That is all that I can do, as we continue to wait patiently for the Break in the clouds.

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6 thoughts on “Waiting……..

  1. I know the feeling :/ I had been at that point where I was afraid to hope…afraid to be let down…and fearful of what might happen if I did hope too much. But then God did a tremendous work in my life. I wrote about it as a guest blog for In Due Time. I’m not sure if it will help you or not but I couldn’t just read this and keep going. I wanted to share with you how I was able to have hope and peace again. Hugs girlie!

    http://in-due-time.com/guest-posts/guest-post-waiting-baby-bird/

    • Great post!! I have no problem praying and expecting God when it comes to someone else’s situation. I believe him to answer my prayers for others without a doubt. But when it comes to praying for myself, I admit, I’m standing at the “wishing well”. I definitely need to change that!!

      • no wishing well girlie!! Romans 2:11 says that God does not show favoritism so be just as confident that He will answer your prayers for others as well as your prayers for yourself. The key is to speak scripture and combat the doubtful mind. We don’t seem to let reasoning and logic get into our heads with others needs because we don’t “feel” or “think”what they are going through. We only see what God says…but when we pray about ourselves we always “feel” and “think” too much. It took me months to grasp the concept that faith is believing in something we can’t see, feel, hear, think, or smell. It’s like our 6th sense. So I have trained my mind to only expect the things that I can’t see or feel. My life has been much more peaceful and hopeful since that time. I’m expecting and believing for your breakthrough! You are going to have a GREAT year in 2014! xoxoxoxo

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