Waiting………From August 2012 until September 2013, I was pregnant twice. Three months with the twins, and then eight months with Aj. I spent 11 months patiently waiting to welcome home a healthy baby. 11 months of planning, purchasing, and setting up……waiting in vain.
Even after AJ’s death, the waiting continues except it is even harder, almost unbearable. When you’re pregnant, you know the end point, so you wait excitedly. But after loss, what are you supposed to be waiting for exactly?? I’m unsure of where to set my expectations. I know, I have to trust God and have faith, but what am I supposed to hope for?? My waiting now has become mixed with fear. Anything that I may hope for might not be apart of the plan God has for me. Not having an expectation, or just having hope for a better future with no specifics, seems easier at this point.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Pray. Pray. Then Pray some more. That is all that I can do, as we continue to wait patiently for the Break in the clouds.