To share or not to share?????

I’ve prided myself on being honest and transparent through out our journey of grief. I’ve been open about the negatives, anger, confusion, bitterness, and sadness. I’ve also shared the moments of hope, thankfulness, and growth. God has continuously showed up, and kept his grasp firmly upon me as I struggled to navigate the rough waters of grief…..every step of the way, God has been here.

Now, we find ourselves starting a new and scary portion of this journey. I’ve gone back and forth over the past few weeks, trying to figure out……should I share this news? Or should I sit in fear, anticipating terrible news?

Honestly, I’ve spent the last few weeks as a slave to fear. I’ve been worried, anxious, and full of doubt. I found myself preparing for something bad to happen, and even drafting a plan for dealing with the bad news. I just couldn’t picture things going well, and I didn’t want to get excited or too hopeful. I was also afraid to share the news with some family and friends, because I didn’t want to hear the negativity or judgements….especially if things didn’t go well this time. I confided in a few trustworthy people, and sought prayer from every prayer warrior I knew……and slowly the shell of fear started to crack. I was able to (slowly) release some of that overwhelming negativity, and start to embrace a bit more hope.

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I also started to focus on my Heavenly Father. Just as he has carried me through the last 10 months, I know with confidence, he will continue to do the same now, no matter what the outcome. All He asks is that I continue to trust and rely on his strength. And that, I will do wholeheartedly.

So, Anthony and I are excited to announce that we are expecting a baby Lilly.

20140727-174402-63842745.jpgYep, that little blob, has a heartbeat, and we are ecstatic. I know, that a lot of women shy away from sharing their early pregnancy news, but what Anthony and I have learned from our experiences with the twins, and Aj, is that there is never a “safe” time to share the news. So we are choosing to enjoy every moment that we have with this little miracle….so today, I am pregnant, and thankful.

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12 thoughts on “To share or not to share?????

  1. oh sugars I couldn’t be more happy for you! This brings tears to my eyes and I can’t stop grinning! Congratulations!

    Hold tight to known character of God and wake up each morning and go to bed each night reciting this verse…

    “He will fear no bad news, his heart is steadfast trusting in the Lord.” Psalm 112:7

    Love ya! xo

  2. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy it to the fullest… reading your most recent post about your baby made me tear up… i cant imagine going through something like that. God works in mysterious ways and your baby is taking care of you and that little bundle thats on its way all the way from heaven…

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